my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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