awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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