We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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