He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
