loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
