who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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