We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I checked into jail on foursquare
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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