I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
