using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
