The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
