riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
