I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sorry about my life...
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