I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
