1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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