Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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