You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
