whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
