oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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