Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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