After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
