Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
