so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
