I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
