I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
