dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
