My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
