He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
