I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
