Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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