Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
