how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is the high leading the old right now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
