Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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