ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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