I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
