I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
