I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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