hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
