You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Randomize
