I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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