She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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