I accidentally burped into my bong.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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