Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's blow job season.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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