My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
