i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
