Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
