somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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