Sponge bath it is.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
