So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
