last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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