You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
