You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
