Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
