Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My breasts were aching with rage.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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