Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
