I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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