all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This baby is an asshole
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
